Is this the sign?

Chapter 1: First meeting


” Firzanah! Firzanah! ” my supervisor shouted from the back. It is normal for me that people always shouting my name because of my hearing impaired.

” Yes, Ka Wawa ” I answered her immediately. I approaching her and sit in front of her so that I can listen better what she want.

” Soon coming is long holiday. What is your plan during the holiday?” She asked softly since I already beside her.

” Nothing. Just keep working part time here. I need to collect more money while I can. How about you, Ka Wawa? ” I smile slightly. I wish I can have fun overseas but I cannot afford to do that because my family have financial problem.

” My family and I going to overseas for 4 days 5 nights. Insya Allah. While I am not here, can i trust you to take care this shop to you temporary? ”

” Sure Ka wawa. No need to worry. You can trust me ” I winked her and then we laughing together. I continued ” Oh yeah, who will continue work here? except me, of course. hahaha ”

” As usual, Syakirah, Ali, Ahmad, Luqman and Farah. Oh yes, we will have one new part-timer working here. I almost forgot to tell you. He will start work today. He is on the way now ” Ka Wawa added.

” Oh, I see. Who is he? ” I asked.

” He is Syakirah’s friend, the one that always come to this shop every afternoon  and talk with us ” She answered excitedly. I don’t understand. Really? I don’t really remember though.

” Sorry Ka Wawa. But I don’t remember him though. He come to this shoppe every afternoon? Really? But why I don’t remember him? ” I asked again.

” Firzanah~ Firzanah~ Hahaha. This is because you don’t give him a chance to talk with you. You always refill the stock on the cupboard and refrigerator. Always working hard. If I am not mistaken, he did say hi to you once. That time, you stay at the counter and work as cashier. He is just besides the counter, behind you.  You did turn your head back when he say hi  but you just smile and turn your head again to the front. You look so shy and uncomfortable too. ” she explaining.

” Oh, my! really? But How come I don’t remember him? ” I feel astonished and yet guilty for not recognized him.

Ka wawa’s POV:

” Really, Firzanah! Hahaha ” I answered her. ‘ Masya Allah. She is just too pure and naive. That is what I like her. I wonder who will be her future husband’ I said in my  mind.

” How does he look? ” she asked.

” Not bad. Quite handsome. Like Chinese ” I comment while stroking my chin.

” Oh. I see ” She nodded.

” That’s it? You don’t want ask anymore? ” I asked again.

” Like what? ” she raised her eyebrows.

” Like, did he single or married? or something like that? ”

” Not really. I am not that interest to know about him ” she smile gently. ” If you don’t mind, I want to continue to refill the stock over there ” She ask politely.

” Sure. Sure. Go ahead ” I answered while nodding. She massage gently on my shoulder before she go to refill the stock.

‘ Masya Allah. She is so polite girl. I wish I can have her as my daughter-in-law but my son is still study in primary school. She is already in university. May Allah send her a kind heart future husband. Aamin ‘ I said in my mind.

Soon, I look outside. From far, a good looking silhouette coming towards to the shop. Feel so happy so I smile knowing who is that good looking guy.

” Assalamu’alaikum Ka Wawa! ” the guy greeted me as soon as we meet with smile.

” Wa’alaikumussalam warahmatullah, Musa ” I replied his greeting. ” Here have a seat first ” I ask while pointing to the chair. ” Firzanah! Firzanah! ” I called her again.

Seeing there is no respond from her, I bet she didn’t hear my voice. I walk to her and waving my hand infront of her. That way, she will know that I am calling her.

” oh? Ka wawa, you need help? You okay? ” she ask with the worry looks on her face.

“Haha. I am okay, Firzanah. No worry!” I smile and happy when she do that to me. “Here, follow me. the guy is coming already ” I take her hand and bring her to the place where Musa is waiting.


I just follow along Ka Wawa. Soon, I meet Musa. ‘Masya Allah. He is handsome. Allah is the Creator indeed. His Creation is perfect ‘ I said in my mind. I look at Ka Wawa.

” He is Musa. Say Hi to him ” Ka wawa introduced him to me.

” Assalamu’alaikum. Nama saya Firzanah ” I introduced myself and then slightly nodded showing my respect to him instead of shaking hand with him. I hope he understand that I cannot hold man’s hand because we’re not mahram.

” Wa’alaikumussalam. Nama saya Musa ” then he nodded also, the same thing I do just now. He give a smile to me. I just nodded as a reply. I feel so shy and don’t know what should I do. I am not used to talking to the boy. That why I got panic easily every time the boy want talk with me even though it is just about school project.

Musa’s POV:

I just look at shy girl, Firzanah. ‘ As usual, shy and timid ‘ I said in my mind.

“Oh yes, Ka Wawa. Why did you shouting her name just now? ” I asked.

” Oh, She ask me to do this way because she has a hearing impaired. She cannot hear from far. Or if you are lazy to shout, go to her and wave your hand in front of her. She will notice that someone is trying to get her attention. When you talk to her, no need shout. Just let her sit or stand in front of you and talk slowly but soft. She can understand you in this way ” she explained about Firzanah. Ka wawa also added more that Firzanah can do lip-reading even though she cannot hear my voice.

” Ohhh. I see. Thank you Ka Wawa ” I expressed my gratitude to her. I look again at Firzanah. ‘ She looks like normal girl. I didn’t expect she is hearing impaired person ‘ I said in my mind. Actually I fall in love at first sight at her before I offically start working here today. She just don’t realise it or might don’t know me even though I always come to this shop. I don’t know why. I just fall in love with her. I did wonder. She is not pretty compared to my ex-girlfriend. What does she have that make me fall in love in her? That is the reason why I apply to work part time in this shop. I want to know more about her.

I want to say something but I know she didn’t hear this.

‘ I love you, Firzanah ‘ I whispered softly.


Reason behind it

Why did this happened to me? It is not fair

Have it crossed in your mind? Yes? No?

My answer is.. Yes. I did. I did when I was jahiliyah. I used to have whatever I want. We are in a good condition when I was kid. My parents will give what I want. If I want $20, they will. If I want to go out eating, they will accompany me. If I want color pencil, they will buy it for me though I still have the old one. When I grow up, the attention move from me to another new members of family. When my sister grow up, the attention will move from her to another younger sibling. It is repeated until the youngest one. When that happened, the financial is getting unstable and we hit to the bottom of the rocks. My parents get a loan from one bank to another bank just for the sake of us –  their children. They always find a way so that we would not starve at home even just a little.

Studying very hard during primary school, I managed to get a good result. Entering secondary school, I also study hard. Have a competitive and curious inside me, I have been always wanted to participate competitions and win the competition to become a representative of my school. I also have been wanted to join Scout club and any active club. But I didn’t manage to do what I want because the competitions always have registration fees. Plus Scout club required a lot of money. I couldn’t ask money from my parents as I know we are not in a good situation that time. In the end, I just buried that wish and envy when I look them who managed to participate the activities or competition. I only join the competition if there is no payment involved or if there is, the lowest payment at least $2-$3 for me to participate. Plus I was born as hearing impaired. I really doesn’t like telling people that I am not normal. I feel ashamed of myself because I got disability.

I also have a hard time at home because the chores are placed on me solely. This is because I am the oldest daughter and I am the only that my parents depend on me. My parents need to work so I need to help them. Have to handle a lot of siblings is not easy as you have to stop their fighting, cleaning up the mess they caused, ironing their uniform school, take care of youngest little sister, fix their meals, etc. I am only 13 years old so I have no strength to do all of this. Plus I have to attend my school and also extra class. This continues until I was upper six (19 years old). That long period (6 years), how many time it crossed in my mind? I sighed. I felt unfair. I am so tired. I admit I did thinking of running away from home. But I choose to stay when I remember my younger siblings. I don’t want them to feel what I feel. So basically i have negative thinking about my parents.

They don’t love us. Always busy work. Always sleep when go home………

Then Hidayah comes to me. Its really changed my mind set from negative to positive. I start thinking the reason why my parents working hard. When I get my first part time job, this deepens my understanding about my parents. Working a lot of part time jobs, I understand more about my parents. Slowly, I opened my heart to them. Slowly, I feel guilty towards to them. At the same time, I slowly love them in silent. Slowly, I advised my younger siblings not to cause trouble our parents too much. Then I said to myself this.

I am glad that this is happened to me. Allah really loves me. That why He give me this test. If I was born into a wealthy family, I might be arrogant and selfish to people or society. If I was born into a normal person, I might doesn’t know how it is feel to be in impairment and might have made fun to disabled people. I also might learn the bad words if I have better hearing. If I was born into a single child, I might become spoil kid and whining until I get what i want. I might not become responsible person. So Alhamdulillah Ya Allah. Now I know that You love me. I feel strong and motivated to do my job in this temporary world.

Therefore, please don’t be sad when you get obstacle in your life. Because you have Allah. Allah really love you. Reflect back your old memories and think. There are always a reason behind it. So be strong and SMILE !! 🙂

Belongs to: Noro